Stupid English

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of “telephone booth” be phone beeth

Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard when it goes!

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible

(Adapted from http://www.ahajokes.com/eng002.html)

See you!!